I procrastinate a lot. Too much piles up on my to do list. It overwhelms me and so I don’t take on any of it. Instead I do stupid sh*t like watching marathons of the TV shop Chopped. Dreading the last month of classes before we go to our final clinical. We are doing a lot of group projects, and as much as I like the majority of my classmates, I pretty much loathe group-learning. And my right shoulder is messing up my life (more bitching about that later).
My last externship is in Seattle (where I consider myself from still). I’ll graduate in mid-April, so the end is near and I’m stoked to become a fully fledged PT Assistant. So I do hope I can suck it up until then! The stint in Seattle should be most awesome. I gotta keep my eye on the prize. At least I’ve booked my tickets (just now, after thinking about it for months). That’s something, right?
My right shoulder is funked up. It doesn’t bother me too much in the daytime (unless I try to do chaturanga and certain arm-balancing poses). But at night, different story. It will ache, or worse I’ll feel sharp shooting burning pains that are weirdly in all sorts of directions, not a consistent spot. I can’t find a comfortable arm position. Sleeping about 2 hours at a time, and after 6 hrs I give up and to to prioritize my to do list, which I’m too tired to actually enact. Convinced that I have cancer of my entire humerus and will be faced with the decision of amputation. I think I would rather die than do that. I know I shouldn’t even go there. I do believe in the power of thought manifesting in real life. So trying to remain positive and hope that my appt with the orthopedist in a week will allay my fears.
This mystery injury affects both my personal asana practice and my abilities as a yoga teacher. And of course, my husband would probably like to strangle me. I need to put on my Big Girl Panties and shut the fu*k up, so many people have such bigger problems.
I DID knock quite a few things off my list yesterday – I can only hope that today is equally productive but I also really hope that I take a yoga class, focus on my own mat, and clear my head. I can hope that will allow me to prioritize, get out of my current positive feedback loop of procrastination….