Finding the fun in it all

So much going through my head tonight. It’s been a lovely weekend, lots of yoga and time with my family. Been getting a lot of fun home improvement projects done around the house.

During the past month since I suddenly experienced major vision loss in my left eye, I have gone through a lot. Three eye exams, 2 MRIs, loss of the ability to drive, to work, to exercise, etc etc etc.  My vision has steadily improved the past two weeks, but not to the point that I’ve been given the go ahead to drive. I really really hope that in a week or so that I’ll get the okay to drive. At least during daylight hours.  I have been beside myself fretting that all this time I haven’t been able to work.

All my tests come back really encouraging, I’m making great progress in the vision department and I’ve been given the go ahead to resume exercising, as long as I refrain from things that would increase ocular pressure and risk potentially flaring up the inflammation of my optic nerve.  That would include pretty much anything that brings eyes below the heart, including bread and butter poses such as downward-facing dog pose.  Overall I have stayed within these parameters, but boy it is getting old.  Even though I know my life is charmed.

But early Friday evening I got a text message that I have been replaced at the clinic. I saw the writing on the wall.  I knew there was little reason to hope that there would still be a job waiting for me when I am able to drive again (I honestly am only starting to feel that to be a when, not if,  in the past few days.  So Friday night I finally given official statement that they have found someone else.  This illness has really been brutal on my physical and emotional levels.  It has been a major mind-fuck that you can leave work one day and just be done. I didn’t see that coming. I like structure, I like predictability and plans.  I’ve had a month of anything but.

I tend to see this forced month as a major bitch cloud with a radiant silver lining.  So many things have been made made possible by my forced home lock-down. I can’t exactly catch a bus from where I live in the middle of nowhere. The first week home I slept,  It’s ben a steady progress since I walked out of the clinic – and that makes me so sad.  But I’ve all along managed to teach yoga classes, something so near and dear to my heart, to have a certain bit of continuity with my Viv family.  Will definitely get back to these issues.

But for now, I’m just happy to watch John Oliver and Cookie Monster.  I’ll think about find the best-est ever PTA job for me, stat.  That requires less than 30 min one direction.  Santa Fe is lovely but it just is too far away from the rest of my world

 

 

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