OMG we are getting precipitation here in the High Desert. It will make for a very messy walk with the Basenjis this morning, but boy do we need precipitation. Yes!!!!
I had the unexpected surprise of sub teaching a couple of yoga classes this week. Hooray!!!!
It totally sucks that I lost my PTA job and income recently due to forces beyond my control. But a definite sliver of the silver lining is I’m getting on my mat a whole lot more than I was while working in Santa Fe. I’m going to grab every chance I get to teach or take class while I figure out what I’m going to do with my life now.
I am incredibly grateful to be getting back on my mat. My practice has always help me withstand the rollercoaster of life.
I feel like a broken record talking about this. I’ll try and keep it short. I’ll try to figure out a way to stop even telling the tale. I have faith that soon it will fall into the category of blip on the life map of bullshit. I continue to recognize how good my life is. Charmed really.
My life was pretty much up-ended last month when my left eye’s vision unexpectedly tanked within a 3 day span. I honestly feared I was going blind with no warning. Terrifying and truly life altering. MRIs/Emergency Room/3 eye doc visits later….. all data consistent with optic neuritis of viral or idiopathic nature. Not multiple sclerosis, which I now know to be a common cause of this condition. So I’m exceedingly grateful it isn’t MS.
I’m elated that my vision has improved quite a bit after that first wretched week. My left eye vision still sucks – like I can’t read what I’m typing at all with my left eye. There really isn’t a treatment for this illness, it is a lengthy “wait and see” what amount of vision that I will regain. I must accept I will likely suffer some permanent vision loss so that still is scary. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t have doctor blessing to drive. I feel so fucking dependent to go places. My husband has been a rock-star in terms of taking me places as well as keeping my spirits up.
I grudgingly thank the Universe for forcing me out of a toxic work situation in Santa Fe. It is a fine clinic, and I sure wanted to remain there for a few years. I knew I couldn’t sustain it for 10 years, but I sure wanted to work there for a few years. But The Universe recognized that it was still a toxic situation for me – mainly the f-ing rough daily commute. The Force decided for me that it was simply no longer an option. It’s been a really good change for my home-life to be sure. Tip of the Positive Iceberg Hit. I still feel horrid that I had to stop working with no warning at all. I know my co-workers really had to scramble since I couldn’t be there. I’m glad that they found someone to replace me and therefore to know I should let go of the guilt. I’m still processing this all honestly. Harlan and I are journeying up to SF later today to turn in my keys and grab things I’ve brought to the clinic. Glad he will be there to buffer my emotions whilst being there.
It is time to stop discussing my vision loss scare. I will scream to cyberspace glee when I’m allowed to drive and when I find a cool PTA job. But no more re-telling/re-visitng my sob story. Things are going to work out.
We’re finding time to do a lot of stuff around the house since I’m rather homebound. Another silver lining. New office furniture and 2 bookshelves for my little yoga studio now tucked in a closet. I am stowing things nearby but out of sight so I can practice in a serene space. I am a double Virgo and messiness really drives me crazy.
I also think that my relationships have truly improved now that I have more time and energy to give. So that is pretty cool.
It totally stinks to not have a decent income! I sure hope that I will quickly score a great outpatient orthopedic position that is geographically far more desirable. I would LOVE to be able to incorporate a whole lot more of yoga instruction into how I treat patients and students. Focusing on the proper dynamics of a given PT exercise such as straight leg raises has been incredibly instructional and I’m glad I have been imparted with that knowledge. Now I yearn for a situation where I can blend such an exercise into a functional activity based on the needs of a particular client. 1:1 instruction is awesome. But I would prefer to focus on Therapeutic Exercise with a whole lot less emphasis on singular exercises and the use of modalities such as ultrasound. It is undeniably debatable whether modalities are beneficial in Physical Therapy. I truly believe in my heart I’m meant to treat patients with yoga versus electricity. Just saying.
Again changing the subject. Here are some pictures taken yesterday at Vivify. I thought yoga pants with full of roses would be perfect for a Valentine’s Day Yoga class. The anatomical interpretation of our lower extremities is more than debatable, but I still love these pants.
I haven’t been inspired to do much photography during my illness. Until this week I was supposed to keep activity to a minimum. But now I’m cleared to get sweaty and work my body. Hooray! I am sure I’ll be getting back to pictures as well.
Hasta la vista baby, it is time for me to ROCK and ROLL for the day. Dropping off my keys and saying goodbye to people at TS is going to be difficult! But that will close a chapter and who know what now lies ahead!!!