Getting Old Blows

Of course, the option to getting old is a bummer too.

Been fighting insomnia again.  Shoulder pain pretty consistently wakes me up around 3 am.  Once ya get it a weird sleep cycle, it is hard to break. I lay in bed, overwhelmed by all the things that I’d like to be doing.  So I get up, do a few chores functioning like a zombie.

Thank God for my yoga practice. I might be a zombie now, but after I finish my thrash on writing this and send it to cyberspace, I’m gonna do me a little Yin.  Mid-morning I will  take a hot yoga class.  I’ll rally and I’ll have a great day.  Hopefully I will officially clinch a PTA position today. We’re in negotiations right now. I really want this job and the wait is rather interminable.

I’ve embarked on furthering my Yin practice/teaching.  I am largely self-taught as a Yin teacher.  My formal training is in Raja-style yoga, which is quite athletic and decidedly Yang.  I taught a Yin sequence back in my Ashram days that is heavily influenced by Brian Kest’s take on Yin Yoga.  I’ve read books by Bernie Clark and Paul Grilley which have further deepened my understanding of Yin.

I find learning from Bernie in video forum is far deeper than reading a book.  He possesses great wisdom and humor.  His suggestions on props and pose modifications are fantastic.  I love to stretch,  But being quite bendy I have to go pretty deep in most poses in order to feel the target stresses.  So it is super important that I learn to modify for a given student.  I want to be the best freaking Yin teacher that I can be!

Bernie also holds poses incredibly long.  I have my students hold most poses for a minute or so. A few for 3-5 minutes.  But Bernie holds for about 5 min and the experience becomes extremely intense.  I want to scream sometimes.  One must also release fro a pose extremely slowly to let tissues safely rebound.  Time is far more important than depth. The wisdom Bernie is imparting has already affected my own teaching style and I’m sure this will continue to be the case.

With that being said, I’m gonna do me some studying!

P.S.  Harlan and I continue to play with duo yoga and boy is it fun. 🙂 I am enormously grateful that we are starting to geek out and have a lot of fun

We’ve been looking at more pictures of basic duo poses.  Geeking out a bit, actually.  It is a lot of fun.

 

Teaching Yin at Vivify today at 4 pm!

I am so stoked. Today WordPress is letting me insert pictures.  I’ve been having issues with photos in general on my laptop, so a Trip to the Apple Store is in my future.

Anyhoo, I have been filling my life with as much yoga as I can whilst looking for a job.  I need to ramp up my desire secure a new job . It’s just so fun to attend to errands and projects that have been back burner-ed for a long while.  But it is also nice to eat and have a roof over your head.  So I need to get serious.

 

 

 

Trust Issues

My husband and I have started to mess around with duo yoga. I think we will pull off some cool stuff.  I am really happy.  I am also a total chicken, so this will encourage me to get over it!  I would post a more recent shot – but WordPress is not letting me post my recent downloads.  Grrrrr!

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There are a lot of things I’d like to discourse.  I continue to procrastinate Churching Up my blog. I want to make it so much more, but I’m getting distracted with home nesting and spring cleaning right now I guess.  And my left eye still “wears out” during the day.  Naps are time consuming 🙂 Oh, and I’m getting to do a whole lot more asana.  Perhaps I should start balancing out my 8-limbed path.  🙂

Anyways.  my belated post…… Go Ladies!!!

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On The Road Again

I am elated to say that I have been cleared by the optometrist to resume driving and inverting in yoga.  I’m almost equally glad about the two!  It was a super pain in ass and annoying to not drive since I live in the sticks.  And I couldn’t participate in a huge portion of poses when teaching and taking class.

So I am back on the road.  I found that it actually tired me out to do some errands after a kick ass yoga class.  I believe it it because it was definitely the most active day I’ve had in a month.  I ended up taking a super long nap in the afternoon. Or maybe it’s just getting old!

Some pix from the lovely Vivify studio.. It was a super challenging and fun class, but I realized that I have lost a LOT of strength in the past month of having to take it super easy…..So I have my work cut out for myself. The good things is that while I start to do my work search, I will have some time to get on my mat, hopefully on a daily basis!

 

It was CRAZY to see my depth perception tests from one month ago and two days ago.  Black means you can’t detect anything in that field.  Doc was really encouraged that my vision had improved as much as it had in a month.  Optic neuritis typically takes a long time to resolve, and the extent to which it does can be limited.  My fast recovery is a good indicator that I won’t have much permanent damage. My left eye vision is still pretty blurry.  Electronics screens are really difficult to read.  So I certainly hope for more

I miss inversions

I miss driving too.

Follow-up with my optometrist on Tuesday. Eager.  But what if he doesn’t think that my vision has improved enough to drive? I know it is getting better but also know that I read for shit with my left eye alone.  My overall left field of vision remains in general dimmer than the right, but I can make out a lot of details and peripheral vision is back online

A month of not driving has been hard. A month of fretting about my vision overall has been stressful.  One of my best stress relievers is my yoga mat, but I am really limitied in the poses that I can do without risk of increasing my ocular pressure which can interfere with the healing in optic neuritis.

I know I still have a charmed life. I have no idea the suffering others endure. And someday, no matter what, I won’t be driving.  But right now, having a bit of a pity party, even though I know I shouldn’t.  The heart does what it wants, right?  Despite what hte brain tells it.

Namaste and Blessings, T.

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It’s raining in Rio Rancho. Thank you Universe!

OMG we are getting precipitation here in the High Desert. It will make for a very messy walk with the Basenjis this morning, but boy do we need precipitation.  Yes!!!!

I had the unexpected surprise of sub teaching a couple of yoga classes this week. Hooray!!!!

It totally sucks that I lost my PTA job and income recently due to forces beyond my control.  But a definite sliver of the silver lining is I’m getting on my mat a whole lot more than I was while working in Santa Fe. I’m going to grab every chance I get to teach or take class while I figure out what I’m going to do with my life now.

I am incredibly grateful to be getting back on my mat.  My practice has always help me withstand the rollercoaster of life.

I feel like a broken record talking about this.  I’ll try and keep it short. I’ll try to figure out a way to stop even telling the tale.  I have faith that soon it will fall into the category of blip on the life map of bullshit.  I continue to recognize how good my life is.  Charmed really.

Anyways,

My life was pretty much up-ended last month when my left eye’s vision unexpectedly tanked within a 3 day span.  I honestly feared I was going blind with no warning.  Terrifying and truly life altering.  MRIs/Emergency Room/3 eye doc visits later….. all data consistent with optic neuritis of viral or idiopathic nature.  Not multiple sclerosis, which I now know to be a common cause of this condition. So I’m exceedingly grateful it isn’t MS.

I’m elated that my vision has improved quite a bit after that first wretched week.  My left eye vision still sucks – like I can’t read what I’m typing at all with my left eye.  There really isn’t a treatment for this illness, it is a lengthy “wait and see” what amount of vision that I will regain.   I must accept I will likely suffer some permanent vision loss so that still is scary. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t have doctor blessing to drive. I feel so fucking dependent to go places.  My husband has been a rock-star in terms of taking me places as well as keeping my spirits up.

I grudgingly thank the Universe for forcing me out of a toxic work situation in Santa Fe.  It is a fine clinic, and I sure wanted to remain there for a few years.  I knew I couldn’t sustain it for 10 years, but I sure wanted to work there for a few years. But The Universe recognized that it was still a toxic situation for me – mainly the f-ing rough daily commute.  The Force decided for me that it was simply no longer an option. It’s been a really good change for my home-life to be sure.  Tip of the Positive Iceberg Hit.  I still feel horrid that I had to stop working with no warning at all. I know my co-workers really had to scramble since I couldn’t be there.  I’m glad that they found someone to replace me and therefore to know I should let go of the guilt.  I’m still processing this all honestly.  Harlan and I are journeying up to SF later today to turn in my keys and grab things I’ve brought to the clinic.  Glad he will be there to buffer my emotions whilst being there.

It is time to stop discussing my vision loss scare.  I will scream to cyberspace glee when I’m allowed to drive and when I find a cool PTA job.  But no more re-telling/re-visitng my sob story.  Things are going to work out.

We’re finding time to do a lot of stuff around the house since I’m rather homebound. Another silver lining.  New office furniture and 2 bookshelves for my little yoga studio now tucked in a closet.  I am stowing things nearby but out of sight so I can practice in a serene space. I am a double Virgo and messiness really drives me crazy.

I also think that my relationships have truly improved now that I have more time and energy to give.  So that is pretty cool.

It totally stinks to not have a decent income!  I sure hope that I will quickly score a great outpatient orthopedic position that is geographically far more desirable.  I would LOVE to be able to incorporate a whole lot more of yoga instruction into how I treat patients and students.   Focusing on the proper dynamics of a given PT  exercise such as straight leg raises has been incredibly instructional and I’m glad I have been imparted with that knowledge.  Now I yearn for a situation where I can blend such an exercise into a functional activity based on the needs of a particular client.  1:1 instruction is awesome.  But I would prefer to focus on Therapeutic Exercise with a whole lot less emphasis on singular exercises and the use of modalities such as ultrasound.  It is undeniably debatable whether modalities are beneficial in Physical Therapy.  I truly believe in my heart I’m meant to treat patients with yoga versus electricity.  Just saying.

Again changing the subject.  Here are some pictures taken yesterday at Vivify. I thought yoga pants with full of roses would be perfect for a Valentine’s Day Yoga class.  The anatomical interpretation of our lower extremities is more than debatable, but I still love these pants.

I haven’t been inspired to do much photography during my illness. Until this week I was supposed to keep activity to a minimum. But now I’m cleared to get sweaty and work my body.  Hooray!  I am sure I’ll be getting back to pictures as well.

Hasta la vista baby, it is time for me to ROCK and ROLL for the day.  Dropping off my keys and saying goodbye to people at TS is going to be difficult! But that will close a chapter and who know what now lies ahead!!!